


Iterations

by AgeOfAlejandro



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, No happy endings, micro agressions, not sorry, parts of it are still hella fluffy though, tarsus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-07
Updated: 2013-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-10 15:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeOfAlejandro/pseuds/AgeOfAlejandro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>There are many iterations of what happened after the Narada and the Jellyfish were sucked into that black hole.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting this story. It didn't import right from LJ and I just noticed, like two years after I first did it. :|
> 
> I WILL fix what I did to Jocelyn. I want to post all of this before the next movie renders it all meaningless and I feel really awful about evil!Jocelyn but between school and trying to re-write a story that is well over 20,000 words, well, it ain't happening right now and I want to keep the emotional impact of the ending.

There are many iterations of what happened after the _Narada_ and the _Jellyfish_ were sucked into that black hole. In most of them, the ships are destroyed by gravity, metal screaming in protest as they are wrenched apart and the lives of those within end as they are sucked into the void. In some, they are spit out into a world where the Federation ceases to exist for one reason or another, shortly after Nero and Spock appear. It is in these that Nero takes out his rage on Vulcan and on Earth and Spock frantically tries to round up a force to stop him (some places he succeeds, in others he fails).

 

In a few, they are spat into a completely different universe, where the Federation never existed at all. The iteration of the _Narada_ and the _Jellyfish_ that we are concerned with is one of these. The players all exist and their important properties are the same; it's just the Federation which is missing.

 

Humans became a space-faring species in 2063, just as they did in Federation universes. But the Vulcan ship _T'Plana-Hath_ was not there to see _Friendship_ warp into space and humans wandered alone for some time. They are not part of the alliance that chases down the Romulan drone and nothing results from it, aside from some political ties between the species who were in this alliance. There is some, somewhat reluctant, contact between Vulcans and Humans and of a resulting union, Spock is born. Jim's father is killed saving his merchant marine spaceship from marauding Orions and Bones's father still dies and his wife still divorces him, taking their daughter with her.

  
 

  
It is 2255 when James T. Kirk meets Leonard H. McCoy in a dingy bar in Riverside, Iowa, the day before he leaves for San Francisco, California for school. Something clicks between them and Jim takes Leonard – Bones, as he'll say later – home, even though he has to be up at an ungodly hour to get to the shuttle pad on time. The night air is filled with moans and the sound of sex in the mean time, and around four, Jim means to kick the man out so he can get ready to go. Except he finds Leonard half dressed already and muttering something about how it should be illegal for shuttles leave so fucking early. They converse as Jim follows suit, the words flowing between them much more easily than Jim has ever experienced with a one night stand before, and they discover they're heading for the same flight to the same city.

“Breakfast?” Jim hesitantly suggests and Leonard readily agrees.

 

  
During the shuttle ride, after the I-might-puke-on-you moment and the following shared booze, they eventually, reluctantly talk about why they're leaving home. Jim is escaping a life trapped in Riverside for University of California, Berkeley (to study physics), and Bones is moving to San Francisco to teach and research at the medical school attached to University of California, San Francisco to get away from the tattered remains of his life after his ex wife took everything (Jim thinks there's more to the story, but politely doesn't push). "All I have left is my bones," Leonard says quietly, looking past Jim's knees so he doesn't have to meet his eyes.

Jim nicknames him there and then, deciding that 'Bones' is much more acceptable than a stodgy old fashion name like 'Leonard' (“Who the hell named you, anyway?” Jim asks playfully. Bones growls. “My fucking parents. Who do you think does these things? The fucking stork?”)

 

 

 

Jim's too old to deal with the freshmen at Berkeley without loosing his mind and Bones takes pity on him, letting him stay for a while in the apartment UCSF provided. Jim half-jokingly offers sex in return, but Bones can see the tinge of relief in his bright blue eyes when he turns the offer down flat. It puzzles him and he puts it away for later contemplation (at some point he decided that he liked Jim and wanted to keep him around. He feels he should understand his friends).

Worries that this is only about sex still flair up between them and one night Jim shouts about it until he winds down and runs out of things to say. Bones assures him that if he ended the sexual part, it wouldn't matter, because that's not what this is about. He calms and says he believes Bones, but there's still a flicker of _you're lying_ in his eyes.

  
 

  
Moving out of Bones's place and their continued friendship seems to soothe Jim better than words. They fall into a pattern, often ending up at Bones's place to do their respective work – he grades, reads, or plans and Jim does homework. After that, they sometimes go to a bar or get food and then have sex. Jim usually leaves afterward, waking Bones up just enough to let him know or texting him when he gets back to his place so Bones knows he got home to Oakland ok.

Jim's roommates know about Bones and think it's kind of weird that he's...whatever...with a medical school professor (“Who do you root for when we play UCSF, Jim? Us or them?” “That depends on how much the rest of my section is pissing me off,” he says pointedly, loudly, over the screaming crowd, giving his roommates an irritated look as they watch Berkeley score a touchdown). But they like Bones anyway.

Bones's colleagues are aware of Jim, too. They think it's weird he's fucking a student, but the guy's not at UCSF and the age gap isn't unacceptably large so they suppose it's all right. When Jim makes an appearance one day, his coworkers decide he's a nice guy and that they're a good pair. Both fucked up, both rough around the edges, and Jim's damn good looking and seems emotionally on par with Bones (which is to say they have the emotional range of a teaspoon between them sometimes but they make it work).

 

 

  
The fall term comes to an end and Bones goes back to Georgia to see his daughter, leaving Jim at loose ends for two weeks. He repeatedly tells himself he's an adult, not an adolescent with abandonment issues. He barely avoids a bar fight and doesn't pick up people to sleep with (it occurs to him that Bones was the last pick up he's had and he decides that that might be one of the best things he's ever done). He sends Bones a quick holiday comm and watches porn on Christmas day, indulging in replacing most male actors with Bones in his head. Jim sighs when this does nothing to ease how much he misses the grumpy old hot ass.

 

He picks Bones up from the shuttle port the morning of New Year's eve and it's doesn't look like he's in the mood for human contact, much less talking. He keeps the urge to sigh to himself as Bones glares at the universe, drops him off at his apartment, and stays just long enough to deposit a couple bags in front of his door.

“Your present is on the kitchen table,” Jim tells him, lingering in the doorway for a moment. Bones nods and Jim leans in for a stolen, relatively chaste kiss before he leaves, ignoring the man's bitching as he shuts the door.

  
 

The next afternoon, he receives a small box from Bones, which contains two things. The first is a gift card to BevMo, Jim's all-time favorite booze store, and the second is the newest passcode to his apartment written on a piece of paper with a note: _Now stop hacking my door._

Jim smiles.

  
 

One night in March, Bones comms him. “Are you coming over tonight?”

Jim nods, even though Bones can't see him. “I was planning to, yeah. Busy with prepping for classes tonight, or what?”

“Or what,” Bones responds and there's something in his tones that Jim can't quite pin down. It makes him a little nervous. “See you at six?”

"See you at six," Jim confirms.

 

He keys in the passcode to the apartment and Bones greets him with alcohol and Indian food. They settle in and talk and laugh and Bones tells him about the latest comm with Joanna, something he rarely does. He gushes and glows with pride when he talks about her and Jim thinks it's adorable. He knows Bones's marriage sucked but he gets glimpses of how bad it was through the conversation. Jim thinks the ex might have cheated on Bones (for why? Bones is the whole shebang) and he wonders if Joanna's really Bones's child. He doesn't ask because she's a light in his world and he loves her. That she might be someone else's child genetically doesn't mean a thing.

 

After dinner, Bones takes a deep, steeling breath and Jim becomes guarded. Deep breaths like that rarely promise good things.

“Everything ok?” he hedges.

Bones gives him a wry smile. “Yeah. I'm just going out on a potentially dangerous limb here, that's all.”

Several alarms go off in Jim's head. 'Uh,” he says, “Well –”

“What are we?” Bones interrupts, looking like he's regretting asking this already.

“What?”

“How do you refer to me? Your partner or,” Bones looks like he can't decide if he's ok with whatever's coming next, “your boyfriend, or what?”

“Oh.” Jim doesn't really know what to say. “I kind of don't. I just say you're my friend.”

“Friends don't usually sleep together, much less find each other by picking one another up for what was supposed to be an anonymous one night stand,” Bones points out, jabbing the air with a samosa laden fork nervously.

“True,” Jim agrees. He doesn't think Bones regrets what's become of that one night stand. “I don't know. I didn't want to jinx it or something, and I didn't think you'd appreciate me deciding what we are without talking to you, and I didn't know how to go about asking.”

Bones shakes his head. “Well, here's how, for future reference,” he says. “What do you want to call us?”

Jim realizes he doesn't want there to be a reason to need a future reference. “I don't know. Or care, really. Pick a title, and I can roll with it.” He's still processing the epiphany he just had. Jim, in an abstract sort of way, feels like he ought to be fucking terrified of this.

Bones's mouth twists in thought. “I don't know. Boyfriend?” He still looks like he can't decide whether he likes the term or not. “I reserve the right to change it in the future.”

Jim decides he's fine with not wanting there to be conversations like this with other people, and shrugs at Bones. “Ok.”

 

 

  
It's a little weird to refer to each other as “boyfriend” but it's still pretty much like it was before Bones asked that they define it (though with the added bonus of Jim spending the night a couple times a week). They still do their work at Bones's place, go to bars, and fuck most nights. Bones's colleagues and Jim's roommates still think they're a weird couple and life's pretty good.

Summer approaches and Bones rolls over in bed one night in late April to ask Jim a question.

“What are you going to do after finals?”

Jim pauses and then shrugs. “Stay here, I expect.”

“Not going back to Riverside?”

“Fuck no,” Jim says irritably. “Riverside's a fucking hell hole I have no desire to set foot in again. And there's nothing there for me anyway, even if I wanted to.” The last is quieter than Bones is used to hearing from Jim.

He hesitates and then asks, “No family?”

Jim shrugs again, staring at the ceiling, which is striped by lights through the crappy blinds. “My mom's still there. Sam, my brother, left when I was a kid – he's a good few years older than I am, and last I heard from him, he's off doing something with the Andorians. That was a couple years ago, though, so god knows where he is now.”

“Are your folks divorced?” Bones asks, wondering why there's no mention of his father.

“Nah. My dad died when I was a few months old. He was the captain of the _USNS_ _Kelvin_ and the ship was attacked by a bunch of Orion slavers. He evacuated everyone and then went kamikaze in order to prevent them from going after evacuees, including an important admiral.” Jim's mouth twisted, a cynical look in his eyes. “That's the reason he's sort of famous. Not because he sacrificed himself to save four hundred souls from slavery, but because he save the life of a single person and everyone always forgets about the other three hundred and ninety-nine.”

Bones nods and Jim goes on.

“Mom remarried later, to an asshole named Frank. He died, fortunately, when I was seventeen of an aneurism. I was kind of a hellion, so I think she blames me a little bit.” Jim shrugs again and turns to look at Bones. “Going back to Georgia?”

“Yeah.” Bones nods. “For a bit anyway. I don't have a place to live down there and there's only so long I can trespass on my relatives' kindness, not to mention my visitation's limited. Two weeks is all I get,” he says sourly, examining his hands in the low half light instead of looking at his boyfriend. He looks up after a moment. “Want to come, if you can get off work?”

Jim works at a coffee shop and gets along well with the manager. “Sure,” he agrees, unwilling to think about what this might mean.

 

 

Georgia is amazing, he decides. This has something to do with the fact that Bones and his delightful daughter are from here (Joanna can't be anyone but Bones's, from her green eyes to her _expressive_ eyebrows), and partly to do with the fact that, humidity aside, the place just rocks. Tonight, he's lying on the grass under the stars with Bones and Joanna, who has fallen asleep and is curled against her father's side. It's probably the most perfect moment he's ever had; a breeze plays over them, tugging at Bones's hair, and fireflies dance nearby. It's quiet, this far from civilization, under a blanket of stars, and Jim loves it.

“That's Draco,” Jim says, a long finger pointing out pinpricks of light against the velvety deep blue, “just there, by the little dipper.”

Bones laughs softly and reaches over to take Jim's hand. He's spent half an hour telling Bones about the stars and he doesn't seem like he's going to stop anytime soon. “Ever think about going up into space? Like your dad?”

Jim gives him a shrug. “Sure, when I was a kid. Gave my mom a heart attack when I first suggested it, at, like, five years old.” He looks over at Bones, grinning. “What, are you suggesting I do it?” Jim's grin broadens. “You could totally be my ship's doctor.”

Bones raises an eyebrow.

Jim laughs. “No space for you?”

“It's disease and death, wrapped in darkness and silence. Of course not.”

Jim chuckles. "It's more than that. It's stars and life and adventure - who knows what's out there that we haven't seen yet?"

"Not me and I don't want to find out," Bones replies, stroking Joanna's hair. "Disease," he says. " _Death_."

"There's death everywhere," Jim replies.

"I think we have a slightly decreased chance of catching Andorian shingles on Earth, Jim."

"Well, yeah," Jim says. "And it doesn't matter anyway, because I'm not going into space, but still. There's so much to see out there."

Bones shrugs as much as their positions allow and they sit in a warm, contemplative silence for a while before he decides that the three of them need to head inside for bed.

 

  
The next morning, Bones watches Jim and Joanna play on his cousin's lawn, a rare, quiet smile on his face. John is his favorite living relative and they've kept in touch since he left, so John knows about his boyfriend.

“You never did tell me how you two met,” John comments from across the table as he pushes his eggs around his plate.

“Aunt Jolene would whip your ass if she saw you playing with your food,” Bones replies idly, wondering how to explain their meeting.

John rolls his eyes. “Thanks, Ma.” He peers at his cousin, vague annoyance in his eyes. “Don't dodge the question.”

Bones shrugs. “In Iowa.”

“What the hell were you doing in Iowa?” John asks.

“En route from here to the Bay Area, I was trapped in a backwater town there overnight and happened to meet Jim. We were bound for the same place.” Bones supposes that's enough of an answer. It's true, if over simplistic and sanitized. He's fine with the fact that he and Jim are the one night stand that never ended, but would prefer that not to taint John's view of Jim.

His cousin seems satisfied and doesn't press further.

 

 

Jim and Bones prepare to return to San Francisco when Bones's allotted time with Joanna ends, hopefully with minimum contact with the ex-wife. Jocelyn is beautiful, tall with auburn hair and hazel eyes, and as soon as she opens her pretty red mouth, Jim kind of hopes she dies in a fire so Joanna can come live with Bones instead. Joanna lingers with Jim as her parents talk, her sweaty hand clutching his, as Jocelyn's aging husband (possibly named Lawrence, Jim thinks) lurks nearby in a flashy hover car. Jim's not sure what, aside from ever-more money apparently, Jocelyn got from dumping Bones for that man. He's not nearly as nice to look at, seems shady, and can't possibly be better endowed than Bones is Jim decides after studying the man's feet, which are flat on the ground as he leans forward to listen to Jocelyn and Bones talk.

He decides that he does really, truly hope that Jocelyn dies in a fire when she rests a disdainful hazel gaze on him, and a haughty, mocking smirk lifts a corner of her mouth. Jim refrains from telling her so as she approaches to retrieve her daughter. He chooses to pick up Joanna's bag of toys and clothes to give to her instead as Jocelyn takes Joanna's other hand.

“You must be Jim.”

Her tone sets his teeth on edge. “And you must beJocelyn,” he replies, just this side of saccharine-sweet. He keeps the venom out of his voice for Joanna's sake, aware of Bones's sharp eyes on him.

Jocelyn doesn't fail to notice this, and a throaty chuckle echoes for just a moment as the politest sneer Jim has ever seen graces her face. “It's a pleasure to meet you,” she lies through her teeth, “but we must be going now. Let's go, Joanna, so you can see your daddy for a minute,” she says. Jim lets go of Joanna's hand and has to hide his amusement when Joanna refuses to let go of his in turn. “Let's go,” Jocelyn insists, wrapping a hand over Joanna's thin shoulders instead and gently tugging.

Jim kneels down beside her and leans in, as if he were telling her a secret. “Maybe you can convince your dad to bring me again,” he says in a stage whisper. “And then we can...do whatever it is you Georgia people do during winter.”

Joanna giggles, lets go of his hand, and gives him a sticky hug. “Ok,” she replies and scampers off to see her dad.

Jim doesn't hide his smirky-smile when it takes a further ten minutes to peel Joanna off Bones but feels bad when she starts to cry. He hears Bones promise to send her pictures every step of the way and Joanna's mother promise her ice cream and he feels a little less bad. He still hates Jocelyn, but he knows she doesn't like it any more than Bones does when her baby girl cries.

Jim approaches the group to stand behind Bones as Jocelyn piles Joanna and her stuff into the hover car, ignoring the glaring possibly-Lawrence in the driver's seat, and smiles and waves back when Joanna's hand threatens to fly off from waving so hard at him and Bones. Bones's response is sadder and a little slower than Jim's, but he doesn't stop until Joanna can't see him anymore. Jim wraps his arms around him from behind and Bones places his hands on Jim's forearm, resting his head against Jim's as they stand there for a while.

 

  
They leave the next morning and plan do exactly as Bones promised Joanna, taking pictures of anything they think she might like to see along the way and Jim is put in charge of the camera after Bones sees a few of his snapshots from the days before. They send her a picture of Bones standing in the morning sun with a cup of coffee (the least-sad picture Jim could get of him) and then one of him giving the camera a big, exaggerated smile as they take off for the shuttle pad.

Because it's summer, Bones can message back and forth with Joanna all day, which he does (Jim doesn't recall any other seven year old he's ever met – not that there have been many – being as articulate or literate as she is, but she's Bones's kid so he supposes he shouldn't be surprised). Joanna demands pictures of Jim, too, and he makes sure that almost every shot is one of him pulling a funny face. It seems to make her happy, so he doesn't care that Bones is laughing at him (he also does it because it makes Bones feel better, but that's another thing entirely).

However brilliant Joanna might be, she can't spell her way out of paper bag yet, and her misspelled messages always bring a smile to Bones's face. They send her pictures of other passengers on their shuttle and Jim takes pictures from the windows, which Bones makes sure to never look at before he sends. After her response to a particularly silly picture of Jim and Bones together, Bones wraps an arm around Jim and pulls him close to nuzzle him with kisses, murmuring warmly against his ear, “I think you've been adopted by my daughter.”

Jim thinks he's never smiled more in his life.


	2. Chapter 2

School starts up again and Jim gets a new roommate, who is in the physics masters program. His name is Spock and he's quiet, withdrawn, and an older student like Jim, and fucking brilliant. It takes Jim about a minute to figure out why he's so withdrawn – pointy ears, olive skin, with dark, still eyes – he's a Human-Vulcan hybrid. Jim doesn't give a shit about these things, but plenty of people do. Bigotry is rarely blatant, but the subtle, sometimes unspoken things are still there. People give Spock a wide berth in the halls, as if Vulcans went around mind-melding with people at random, and speak very slowly to him, as if he didn't understand English. Jim sets about making friends with his quiet roommate, partly to spite the world, but mostly because he knows Spock needs a friend.   
  
  
Jim witnesses one of the more obvious acts of prejudice in October of 2256. A girl distracted by a very loud, angry conversation on her comm runs into Spock in the corridor, and as soon as she realizes who she's touched, she jumps like she's been burned, a look of disgust in her eyes. She brushes off his courteous “are you harmed?” with a loud “don't touch me!” and bolts.   
  
Spock's face betrays nothing, but Jim knows him well enough by now to know he is not unaffected. “Ignore her,” he says, feeling he ought to say something. “She...she –”   
  
Spock nods. "I know," he says, and Jim lets it rest.  
  
  
  
Bones is (quietly) less than wild about meeting Spock, and Jim, fed up with speciesism all together, calls him on it. “Do you have a fucking problem with Vulcans?” he asks coolly, eying his boyfriend with displeasure. “Or aliens in general?”   
  
From Jim's tone, Bones knows he's on thin ice. “I didn't say that. I...don't like meeting new people, Jim, that's all. Race, creed, or species, it don't matter to me. Talking to people I don't know makes me uncomfortable.”   
  
Jim raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Huh. As near as I can recall, you liked me on _sight_.”   
  
“Well, yeah,” Bones admits. “That happens sometimes. Not often, but I listen to my instincts.”   
  
From his twisted lips, Bones guesses Jim doesn't buy it. “Whatever. But don't you fucking dare be rude to him, got it?” Jim's tone is downright threatening.   
  
Bones has never heard Jim talk that way and nods carefully. “I won't be.”   
  
  
  
And oddly, Bones finds himself liking Spock. He isn't sure why, but he does. Perhaps it's fact that he's funny (Bones isn't sure if he means to be, but happens more than once and he suspects Spock is at least semi-aware that humans would be amused by the things he says), or perhaps it's because he sees someone in need of acceptance and company and that strikes a chord in him.   
  
Bones supposes it doesn't matter anyway as Jim gives him a pleased smile when he extends his friendship to the man.   
  
  
In the following weeks, Bones finds himself surrounded by people Jim wants him to meet. Pavel Chekov (young, frighteningly smart, and so naïve he may as well have been born yesterday), Hikaru Sulu (a weird Japanese kid with a possibly unhealthy love of plants), and Montgomery Scott (a functioning alcoholic Scotsman, who is older than Bones himself by a fair few years). Spock eventually finds himself a stunning, brilliant girl named Nyota Uhura, and he thinks she might be his favorite of Jim's circle of friends.   
  
It helps that Nyota has a wonderfully wicked sense of humor.   
  
  
  
Time rolls on and Jim and Bones go back to Georgia to see Joanna again for a few days during winter break (Jim discovers that Georgia winters mostly consist of being chilly and frequently wet). Jim also gets a surprise comm from his mother.   
  
“I didn't even tell her where I went when I left,” Jim mutters, looking like he can't decide how he feels about his mother contacting him as he stares at the missed comm message. He sighs and absently watches Joanna play with John's new dog, Missy, and puts down his comm.   
  
Bones reaches for Jim's hand and runs his thumb across the ridge of his knuckles soothingly. “Was it really that bad?”   
  
“What was?”   
  
“Your childhood,” Bones says quietly.   
  
“Yes and no. I won't lie, I kind of hated her. She lived with us, but she was never really there. I think losing my dad kind of broke her, but mostly I hated her for marrying Frank,” Jim responds, resting his head against Bones's shoulder. "I don't hate her anymore, but I still resent it and it's hard to get past that."  
  
“Why?” Bones asks, adding, “If you feel like you can tell me.”   
  
Jim takes a deep breath. “He was abusive and a user, and talked her into sending me to Tarsus IV,” he says quietly, ignoring Bones's soft inhalation. “Mom had relatives there and they promised I'd be okay and she had a panic attack nearly every day between the time I left Earth and got to Tarsus, but she let Frank talk her into sending me against her better judgment. My family starved and succumbed to disease and I was left to fend for myself.” Jim is staring at the ground, but doesn't retrieve his hand from Bones's grasp. Bones doesn't quite know what to say, but lets go of Jim's hand to wrap an arm around his shoulders comfortingly.   
  
Jim takes another breath. “I did what I had to do to survive and came back on a refugee ship. My mom got herself hospitalized after she knocked herself out hyperventilating all the time when the news broke about Tarsus. They had to keep her under for a while. I came back, they woke her up, and,” Jim's lips quirk in a small smile, “she almost crushed me to death with a hug. I acted out even more after that and I get the idea she thinks I was a contributing factor to Frank's aneurysm. And she kind of hates me for it. Or hated me.” A shrug. “I don't know.”   
  
“She did just reach out to you, after going to the trouble of finding out your comm link,” Bones points out.   
  
Jim shrugs again. “I'm not sure I can get around my resentment, and I'm still mad at her about Tarsus.” he says quietly, turning on the couch toward Bones. “I'm...not very comfortable going into detail, even for you, but it was nasty and hard, even before I left for Tarsus, and I had to do things I don't want to talk about to get back. It's Frank's fault, and her’s for letting it happen.”   
  
Bones nods at him, and thinks he has an answer for some of Jim's more puzzling behavior. He doesn't say anything, and they sit in awkward silence for a moment before Joanna and Missy bounce into their laps.   
  
  
  
  
The specter of Jim's childhood doesn't rise again until after they leave Georgia when Jim gets another comm from his mother. He lets it ring instead of picking it up, and gives Bones a hard look when he catches him watching. “I'm not picking up,” he says, crossing his arms stubbornly.   
  
Bones shrugs at him. “I'm not telling you to,” he says as the ringing stops. “It's your relationship with her, not mine, and I don't know the whole picture.”   
  
Jim glares at him anyway. “You're right; you don't.”   
  
Bones glares back. “And that's fine, because I'm not going to push for answers and I'm not going to judge you. You do what you need to do, but don't take it out on me, jackass.”   
  
“Fuck you, Bones,” Jim snaps.   
  
Bones glowers at him and stomps out of the room.   
  
  
It's an hour or so later when Jim approaches, looking shaken and sad. Bones sees his expression and lets Jim curl up close. “Fuck, Bones,” he breathes, his blue eyes huge. “She's got cancer.”   
  
“What kind?” Bones asks gently, kissing his temple. There are many cancers modern medicine can cure, but not all of them, especially some caused by certain types of radiation.   
  
“She wouldn't tell me,” Jim says quietly. “But if it were a curable kind, I don't think she'd have mentioned it.” He rests his head against Bones's shoulder. “She did spend time in space, before Sam and I were born. My parents met on the _Kelvin_ , actually. So I have a few ideas.”   
  
“We can get her treatment at the hospital,” Bones tells him quietly, wondering what sort of person wouldn't tell their child when they had cancer, treatable or not. “It's one of the best in the country, after all.”   
  
“I'll ask her,” Jim says.   
  
  
  
It's not under happy conditions that Bones meets his boyfriend's mother. She's thin and tired looking when they pick her up at Jim's childhood home to take her to UCSF's medical center. The flight back is quiet and not as tense as Bones thinks Jim had imagined it would be. He keeps giving his mother furtive looks, like he expects her to flip out (Bones discovers that she hates flying as much as he does, so he supposes understands) and they talk quietly for a while before she falls asleep, wrapped in a blanket and her head pillowed on her son's shoulder.   
  
Jim looks slightly uncomfortable and a little like he wants like to hug her.   
  
  
Winona is checked in to the hospital and it turns out Jim and Bones don't need to find a place for her to stay because the doctor wants to keep an eye on her. Jim goes to class the next several mornings and Bones stops by Winona's room when he can. She dozes most of the time but a few times, Jim's baby blues peep out at him sleepily from under long lashes. She smiles at him a little (Bones knows that she would smile wider if she could) before he has to go.   
Winona had written Jim in as her contact when she had checked in and she's asleep when the doctor tells him the preliminary results.   
  
“We knew from her records it wasn't good,” the doctor – Doctor Valentino – explains, “but it's been a while since she went in and it's gotten worse. We don't know the extent of it yet, but it's metastasized pretty seriously from the looks of it.”   
  
Jim nods, silent and looking lost as he absorbs this.   
  
“You said these were the preliminary tests?” Bones asks, directing the questions for Jim. “What else are you running?”   
  
Doctor Valentino rattles off a list of other tests and Bones frowns. Cancers aren't his areas of expertise but he knows enough to get by, and doesn't like what he hears.   
  
  
That night, he doesn't have to try very hard to get Jim to stay the night again, and he arranges them in bed, wrapping his arms around Jim. Bones would have been bawling his eyes out at this point in Jim's shoes, but Jim doesn't seem to even approach tears. It weirds Bones out a little.   
  
But later, much later, Jim wakes him up by curling in close and he feels the wetness of tears on his shoulder. Bones makes soft, soothing noises and rubs Jim's back until he falls asleep.   
  
  
  
  
The days roll by as more tests are run and the news is progressively worse. Bones wants to curse Winona for waiting so long, but knows that she and Jim were – are – separated by light years, isolated from each other by years of resentment and anger and an asshole named Frank. And it's not easy to reach across distances that large when you know you'll not be welcome.   
  
Three weeks after Winona is checked in, Bones finds Jim talking very quietly with her. He pauses in the doorway, hesitates, and turns to leave when his name is called softly and he is gestured over by both Kirks. Bones settles into the small hospital chair next to Jim, who smiles a hello at him and squeezes his hand for a moment.   
  
“Uh, I haven't heard from Sam in two or three years.” Winona coughs wetly and shrugs one thin shoulder, but looks more awake than he's seen her. “I tried to get a hold of him, god knows I tried.   
  
Jim nods, a small frown. “I'll try to get in touch with him.”   
  
A small, bitter smile lifts her lips for a moment. “I'm sure he'll pick up for you.”   
  
He looks chagrined. “I don't know. Our last chat was kind of frosty.”   
  
Winona looks like she thinks he's lying but says nothing, turning her gaze to Bones. She gives him a lopsided smile. “Hi, Leonard. How was your day?”   
  
Jim has tucked away his embarrassment and gives his mother a look. “That's my line!”   
  
She laughs. “Well, ought to have beat me to it then, hm?”   
  
Jim sniffs at her with mock disdain and looks at Bones. “How's it going?”   
  
Bones is a little turned around and amused. “Fine,” he drawls. “My students are no dumber than usual, my research is going well – I think I'm on the verge of a breakthrough with it, actually.” He raises an eyebrow at both Kirks. “How about you?”   
  
Jim chuckles. “Only you would say it's 'fine' when you're close to a breakthrough.” He pauses. “But, I'm fine, more or less.”   
  
Winona gives him another lopsided smile. “As well as can be expected.”   
  
  
They talk for a while longer and then she sends Jim to get dinner for the two of them before her own dinner comes. The door closes behind Jim, leaving Bones with his mother and she gives him an appraising look.   
  
“You love him, don't you?” she asks. “I see how you are with him.”   
  
Bones pauses. “I'm wary 'round that word, Winona, but...yeah, I do,” he admits. It's not a sudden revelation – he's known since summer trip to Georgia – but he hasn't said anything to Jim about it. He doesn't think Jim would bolt, but he simply hadn't said anything, choosing to show it instead. And now isn't really the time to declare it, with her in the hospital and all.   
  
Winona nods and pins him with a look. “My right to say this is probably dubious because I fucked up so much as a mother, but don't you dare hurt him.”   
  
“I will certainly do my best not to, Winona,” Bones says earnestly. “I love him, my daughter loves him – he's an important part of my life.”   
  
“You have a daughter?” Winona asks, a very Jim-like expression of amusement and surprise on her face.   
  
“Yep. Joanna, who just turned eight.”   
  
“I had somehow never pictured you as a father, but I can see it now. It just fits.”   
  
Bones gives her a smile. “I love being a father.”   
  
Winona laughs. “Good. May you be a better parent than I was,” she says, genuinely meaning it and without bitterness.   
  
Bones chooses not condemn her lack of parenting skills, and instead talks about Joanna. “She's back in Georgia, but I talk to her as much as I can and Jim and I go back whenever possible.”   
  
“See? You're a better parent – absentee and all – than I was living with my sons,” Winona says. He makes a noncommittal noise and she pauses, then gives him a rueful smile. “Sorry. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”   
  
Bones gives her his best Southern Gentleman smile and then both a food-bearing Jim and Winona's meal trolley turn up, ending the conversation.   
  
  
  
Life adjusts to the new order. Jim all but officially moves in with Bones and only ever goes back to his apartment to pick up Spock or Uhura if they're all going somewhere (which doesn't happen much because while Winona's beginning to respond to treatment, it's pretty rough right now). Evening downtime is divided between visiting Winona and staying in (Jim smiles when Bones says “let's stay home” for the first time instead of “let's spend tonight at my place” when he suggests they go out for dinner).   
  
  
Jim spends a couple weeks tracking down his brother Sam. It's been a long time since they talked and he gets several false leads. Eventually, though, he thinks he has succeeded.   
  
“I found him,” Jim tells his mother and Bones. “Like, I'm ninety-nine percent positive it's Sam.”   
  
“Gotten a hold of him yet?” his mother asks.   
  
Jim shakes his head. “I'm still figuring out how to do it, Mom. It's been four years since we talked and that conversation didn't go very well. He didn't really want to talk to me.”   
  
Winona frowns. “Why?”   
  
Jim shrugs uncomfortably. “Fucked if I know.”   
  
Bones is willing to bet it has something to do with Frank. 

  
  
It takes three days after telling Winona for Jim to screw up the courage to call his brother.   
  
“Sam?” he asks when the call is answered.   
  
_“Yeaaah,”_ the voice on the other end of the line drawls. _“ Who is this?”_  
  
“It's Jim,” he says nervously, fiddling with a stylus.   
  
_“Oh.”_   There's a long pause, as if his brother is having trouble connecting the dots. “ _Ooh. Uh, what are you calling about?”_ Sam asks awkwardly.   
  
“Mom. She has cancer.”   
  
There's a long pause. _“Terminal, or, um, curable?”_  
  
“She's responding to treatment, but uh.” Jim pauses, hating that he's speculating on how his mother is going to die. “It's metastasized to her liver and pancreas. So, yeah.”   
  
Sam lets out a long breath. _“Does she...do you want me to come back to Earth?”_  
  
Jim shifts uncomfortably. “It might be a good idea, yes.”   
  
_“I'll try,”_ Sam says. _“It's really busy and, uh, it's hard to get away."_ A pause. _“And my wife's work is ever more hectic and I want her to come, too. If Mom will have her there.”_   
  
Jim pauses. “Oh. I didn't know...when did you get married?” _  
  
“Two years ago.”_   
  
He nods, despite the fact his brother can't see it. “I'm sure Mom will be happy to have her there. She's taken well to my boyfriend, so I don't anticipate there being a problem.” Jim doesn't tell him that Bones is half the reason their mother is getting such good care and that he kind of dotes on her.   
  
_“All right,”_ Sam says after a moment. _“This is your comm link, right?”_  
  
“Yeah,” Jim replies.   
  
_“I'll let you know in the next week or so if Aurelan and I can come.”_   
  
Jim nods, knowing this is as good as it's going to get.   
  
  
  
Winona looks immensely sad when Jim tells her about Sam. “Do you think he's going to come?” she asks.   
  
Jim sighs. “I don't think so. He might, but we shouldn't bank on it.” He adds, “And he wants to bring his wife, Aurelan, and it's going to be even harder for her to get the time to come.”   
  
Winona looks like she wants to cry. “He got married? Did he say how long it's been?”   
  
“Two years.”   
  
She nods and blinks wetly.   
  
  
One, then two, then three weeks pass and they receive no call from Sam. Jim and his mother accept that he's not going to come.   
  
  
  
  
Spring break arrives (“I love you boys, but if you don't go see Joanna during vacation, I'll rip out my tubes and run away.” “But –” “They'll get in touch if they need you, Jim. _Go._ ”) and they head for Georgia.   
  
Joanna is ecstatic to see them, breaking out of Jocelyn's grip and ignoring her step father's shouting to race into Bones's arms. Jim smiling as he watches them hug and listens to Joanna buzz about how happy she is to see her daddy. After awhile, she decides she's had enough hugs from Bones and latches on to Jim for affection and attention as her mother approaches her father. He feels like he should be there with Bones, but they've talked about it (sort of) and Bones has made it clear that he would rather Jim keep Joanna distracted from the tensions that inevitably course through any interaction he has with Jocelyn. Jim recalls how fighting between his mother and Frank always made him feel ill – Joanna's situation is much different (if it weren't, he'd kill the step father himself) but he knows a distraction would still be appreciated.   
  
So, he leads her upwind a little of the parental powwow so their words don't carry on the breeze, and chats with her about school and the extremely exciting ‘I-have-three-parts!’ ballet recital she's having in four days' time. Jim and Bones are only in Georgia for five nights, so they'll be staying in a hotel for the duration of their visit instead of impinging on John's generosity. Joanna will sleep at Jocelyn's and they'll pick her up every morning at eight to spend the rest of the day with her.   
 

Jocelyn's husband makes loud, threatening noises about what will happen if his daughter isn't returned by ten at the latest every night. Joanna catches this and gives the man a baby version of her father's blistering glare, but it's nothing compared to the look of cool disdain and contemptuousness that has settled on Bones's face. He gives the other man a frosty smile and says something to him before turning around and unconcernedly making his way to Jim and Joanna. Neither of them have any idea what Bones said but love him even more for whatever caused the shocked, hurt look on the guy's face.   
  
  
Dinner that night filled by Joanna's chatter and Jim realizes she gave him the abbreviated version of the ballet. She really does have three parts (necessitating practice every night, which they will be ferrying her to and from in the hovercar Jim is renting) and she really, really loves the costumes. “Got a budding fashion designer on your hands,” Jim laughs quietly when she is focusing on getting her crazy straw situated just right instead of talking.   
  
“Whatever makes her happy,” Bones replies.   
  
  
After ice cream, they drop her off at Jocelyn's place and Jim drives them to the hotel. When they check in and drop their stuff on the floor, Bones insists that they go for a walk.   
  
The hotel is next to a small wood and the sky is clear as Bones leads the way down a deer trail towards god knows what. Jim doesn't know what's going on but whatever it is, it feels kind of like the “define what we are” conversation but heavier. The same look on Bones's face and tone in his voice are present right now and he's hoping the conversation goes along similar lines.   
  
Bones stops in a clearing, looks around, and turns to face Jim, threading their fingers. “Let's be stupid.”   
  
Jim is distracted by the surreal effect the scattered stars and the moon are having on Bones's eyes. “Ok. How?”   
  
Bones sighs. “I don't fucking know.” He leans in to kiss Jim and for a long moment, Jim ceases to be aware of much of anything that isn't Bones or his mouth. Bones withdraws and shakes his head. He looks up, meeting Jim's eyes, looking kind of terrified. “I love you.”   
  
Oh. Jim blinks and then gives him a smile and a bright, happy laugh. “I love you, too,” he says.   
  
Bones lets out a light, relieved sound, and pulls Jim close to kiss him again. “That was anti-climatic.”   
  
Jim smiles, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Do you want drama? 'Cause I can give you drama.” His grin broadens and he affects a terrible Georgia accent. “Oh, oh Leonard! How could you fall in love with me?” He flutters his eyelashes in the moonlight. “I'm the wrong kind of woman for you!"   
  
Laughing, Bones shakes his head. “I wasn't complaining. Last time I told someone I loved them, it got complicated real quick, that's all.”   
  
Jim wrinkles his nose. "I hate drama."

"It's one of your charms, yes," Bones agrees.  
  
  
  
One of the other things that Bones really loves about his relationship with Jim is that when they take a step forward, there is not a single moment of awkwardness or uncertainty between them. It's totally natural and not something he ever had with Jocelyn.   
  
The morning after, Bones wakes up wrapped like a human blanket around Jim, who is awake and petting his hair.   
  
“Good morning,” Jim murmurs, running his fingers through Bones's hair and cupping the back of his neck and Bones smiles sleepily. “...loverboy,” he adds impishly.   
  
He lifts his head up from Jim's ribcage to stare at his boyfriend, confused and slightly horrified. “It's too early to deal with you,” he says, rolling away from Jim. “You're not allowed to talk until I've had two cups of coffee, y'hear?”   
If he were to bother to look up, he knows Jim would be pouting.   
  
  
  
They get up and get ready to pick up Joanna, stopping just long enough to grab coffee at the continental breakfast nook near the lobby. Jim stares at his cup for a bit and Bones raises an eyebrow.   
  
“A floater in your drink, Jim?”   
  
Jim wrinkles his nose and looks up. “Gross. And no. It just occurred to me that I didn't require coffee in the morning before I met you,” he says with a chuckle, taking a sip.   
  
“Well, I'm not stoppin' you from not drinking it in the morning.”   
  
“Never said you were.” Jim hip checks him as they walk out of the lobby. “Just an observation, that's all.”   
  
Bones shakes his head, a small smile on his lips as they make their way to the hovercar.   
  
“So, breakfast with Joanna, yes? IHOP?” Jim suggests,   
  
Bones favors him with the kind of look he might give an unexpectedly smelly, but otherwise adorable dog when it climbs into his lap. “No. God no. I call it the 'international house of pathogens' for a reason, Jim.”   
  
“Denny's?”   
  
“Also a no. What the fuck kind of breakfasts were you eating back in Iowa?”   
  
Jim shrugs and gives him a sidelong glance. “Drunk breakfasts at three am?” he offers as he clambers into the driver's side.   
  
Bones rolls his eyes and opens the passenger side door to get in.   
  
  
  
Joanna scurries out the front door the minute her mother opens it and she is swept up into Bones's hug. “Ready for breakfast?” he asks and grins when she nods enthusiastically. “Got your ballet bag?” Another nod. “Alright, Jo, you go sit with Jim and I'll have a quick talk with your momma, ok?”   
  
“Ok!” Joanna agrees as Bones lets her go.   
  
Jim has already opened the one of the back doors and has the trunk popped open to accept Joanna's stuff. She practically throws the bag into the trunk and climbs into the back, clicking her seat belt into place as Jim closes the trunk. He grins and perches on the curb in front of the open door to talk to her.   
  
“Got all your stuff, right?”   
  
“Yep!”   
  
“Leotard, shoes, hair ties?”   
  
Joanna wrinkles her nose at him with irritation. “'Course! Momma won't take me back to the house anymore when I forget things, so I always check.”   
  
Jim nods. “Good. So, where should we convince your dad to take us for breakfast?”   
  
She pokes him. “You're driving, aren'tcha? Doesn't that mean you get to pick?”   
  
“Well, yeah, but your dad's the one with the money, so he gets official say.”   
  
“If you say so.” Joanna pauses. “Jolene's,” she says decisively. “They have the best French toast.”   
  
“I support this,” Jim says, looking particularly interested by the idea of having French toast for breakfast. “What else can we say to make him take us there?”   
  
“It's clean and John's the owner,” Bones's voice interrupts them. “So, sounds good to me. Come on, Jim,” he says as he makes his way around the car.   
  
Jim laughs and gets up. “Siryessir!”   
  
Bones quirks an eyebrow, an interested look in his eyes, and Jim has a pretty good idea of what he's thinking.   
  
“Promise me French toast every morning, and I'll say it regularly,” Jim replies as he puts the car into gear. He laughs at the considering eyebrow cast his way.   
  
“How about sometimes?”


	3. Chapter 3

Jolene's is a quiet, homey breakfast place on the edge of town, brightly lit and decorated with red checked tablecloths, a giant metal rooster on the wall, and a pie case that rotates near the register. Jim discovers that John's mother, Jolene, was the proprietress of the restaurant until she passed away a few years ago. Bones says it still feels like Aunt Jolene runs the place, though, giving John half a smile, who is standing behind the counter, as he approaches.   
  
John smiles back and gestures them to a booth.   
  
“Let's see, French toast for the little lady?” he asks Joanna, handing her crayons and a paper menu.   
  
“Right!” she chirps.   
  
John grins at her. “Figured,” he says, chatting with her as Bones goes over the menu with Jim, who settles on French toast, too, while Bones gets cream of wheat.   
  
“Boooring!” Joanna tells him when John predicts his order, and grins.   
  
Bones sticks his tongue out at her. “Nope. Drown it in butter and brown sugar with yellow raisins, and you have the best breakfast on the planet.”   
  
Joanna and Jim exchange looks of skepticism.   
  
“Uh huh,”Joanna replies.   
  
“If you say so,” Jim adds.   
  
“No tag-teaming,” Bones tells them both. “There's only one of me and I'm no match for you two combined.” He eyes Jim's considering look and Joanna's smug smirk. “I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I?   
  
“Yep,” Joanna says and Jim gives him a sly smile before nudging him with his foot affectionately under the table.   
  


  
“I think,” Jim announces later, leaning back and resting both hands on his stomach, “that I agree with you, Jo. Best French toast I've ever had.” Jim rubs his belly with satisfaction.   
  
Joanna gives him a smile. “Told ya.”   
  
“You did,” he agrees and slouches in his chair to stretch out, rubbing his calf against Bones's for a minute. “Enjoy your boring breakfast, Bones?”   
  
Bones snorts. “It's like candy for breakfast, Jim.” He tilts his bowl toward Jim. “It's half brown sugar and a third butter.”   
  
Joanna peers at Jim from her father's side. “Why do you call Dad 'Bones'?” she asks him.   
  
“'Cause I do,” Jim replies easily.   
  
She raises an eyebrow in a perfect mimic of her father's. “That's not an answer.”   
  
He shrugs. “I like giving people nick names.”   
  
Joanna tilts her head and pretends to pout. “Why don't I have one?”   
  
“Can't think of one that fits you,” Jim replies. “Unless you want me to call you Little Miss Sassy Pants.”   
  
“Sassy is a name for a cat,” Joanna tells him.  
  
Bones laughs and Jim throws him a mock glare. “See why I don't call you that?” Jim asks her with a grin.   
  
“Try again,” she tells him.   
  
“Tip-toes?”   
  
Her eyes narrow. “No.”   
  
“Mixie?”   
  
“Mixie sounds like Uncle John's dog,” Joanna says. “Keep trying,” she sing-songs.   
  
“Jo-Bo?” he offers.   
  
“Ok, you suck at nicknames.”   
  
  
The rest of the day is spent roaming the town. Bones drags them into an antique shop and Joanna retaliates with a boutique for little girls, where she talks him into buying her a sparkly purse and a shiny pink wallet (“For my allowance,” she tells him).   
  
They have lunch at a cafe and then Jim selects their next stop, an eclectic place they all agree is pretty cool. He buys several neat toys that appeal to the physicist in him and a set of quirky magnets. He also gets his mom a couple games to help her pass the time she's awake and bored out of her mind. Bones comes away with a small collection of stuffed pathogens and Joanna selects a couple toys sure to piss off the stepfather.   
  
  
Dinner is had and then they drop Joanna off at ballet practice. Her ballet instructor introduces herself to Bones, standing too close and flirting hard. Jim doesn't like that, and he notices the small tells indicating that Bones doesn't like it either. He narrows his eyes slightly and proceeds to stand even closer to Bones, who, apparently, is just fine with this and puts his hand at the small of Jim's back.   
  
The ballet instructor takes note and backs off. Joanna, watching the exchange, just rolls her eyes at Jim and Bones.   
  
  
Bones doesn't say anything until they are back in their hotel room. He raises an eyebrow and flops on the bed. “Never noticed jealousy before.”   
  
Jim shrugs and joins him, dragging a pillow under his head. “She made you uncomfortable and no one's flirted that hard with you in my presence before.” When Bones expresses his skepticism, he shrugs again.   
  
Bones raises an eyebrow. “You know, the reason that people don't flirt with me in bars is because you're all over me.”   
  
“Are you complaining?”   
  
“No,” Bones replies before he flashes Jim a smirk. “You're even handsier when you're drunk, by the way.”   
  
Jim rolls his eyes with a smile. “You're way worse than me when you're shitfaced, you know. I had trouble keeping your hands out of my pants when we went out for Chinese the last time. I'm all for sex in places we could be caught, but a hand job in the middle of a restaurant is a little too close to a public indecency charge for comfort. You can afford that fine but I can't,” he laughs.   
  
Bones leans up and kisses his neck. “You could move in,” he points out, mouthing along Jim's jaw. “You're half way there already. And we could share a bank account, which would solve the problem of potential, unaffordable fines.”   
  
Jim tilts his head to provide better access and sighs contentedly. “I could. Spock's talking about moving in with Nyota, so that would solve my misgivings about leaving him behind.”   
  
“You're never there as it is,” Bones says, slipping a hand under Jim's shirt. “What difference would it make?”   
  
“Our roommates – the new ones, who are the source of the problem – know I could come back at anytime and I've gotten almost gotten into a fist fight over him a couple times.” Jim tells him before his breath hitches. “He doesn't know that, but they do and that's been enough to make them behave.”   
  
Bones sighs lightly against Jim's clavicle. “Always getting into it for other people.”   
  
“Someone's gotta,” he replies, knowing Bones's sigh is directed at his tendency to physically fight over things that don't directly involve him rather than the sentiment itself. “Besides, he's my friend,” he adds, closing his eyes.   
  
Bones nods, running lightly chapped lips along Jim's jaw line and making him shiver. “Mine, too.” He moves back to look at Jim. “Can we stop talking about Spock? I'd like to get laid and he's not really what I want to think about right now.”   
  
Jim chuckles, nodding, and Bones promptly returns to his ministrations, paying attention to Jim's earlobe instead before shifting straddle him, a wicked smile on his lips.   
  
  
  
The next couple days pass similarly, with visits to a park after breakfast (long games of tag ensue – Bones is very glad Jim has convinced him to join his morning run), more shopping, and a trip to the local zoo (Jim and Jo spend half an hour exchanging funny faces with the orangutan sitting in front of the viewing window). They attend her afternoon recital the fourth day, sitting in the front row so Jo can see them (she gives them a huge smile when she first comes on stage) and taking advantage of Jocelyn's tendency to run late. By the time she and the husband (possibly named Lawrence?) will probably arrive, all the seats near the front are filled up and they'll have to make do with seats in the far back.   
  
There is brief interaction with Jocelyn and possibly-named-Lawrence after the show and they want to take her home, but Bones pointedly reminds them that this is his visitation and she has to be back by the court appointed deadline but not before. Jocelyn tries to force Bones into surrendering, but he refuses to be swayed. He also tells her that he will do his best to get her wound down before he returns Joanna, which seems to mollify her some. Jo is very much wired from the show and getting a child to relax after something like that can be a chore.   
  
Bones holds true to his word, and they get ice cream and then warm tea, going back to the park to enjoy the still-warm breeze and listen to the crickets and peeper frogs sing as the stars come out. Jo slowly comes down from her performance and eventually falls asleep, leaning against her father's shoulder with her feet in Jim's lap. Nine thirty rolls around and Bones scoops her up. She shifts briefly, mutters something against his shoulder, and stills in his arms. Jim sees the tender smile he gives Jo (one reserved just for her) and can't help but smile himself. Bones is a tough, thorny bastard but under the sharp spines, he's softer than a hot marshmallow.   
  
He settles her in the back seat, crawling in from the passenger side so she can lean against the driver's side back door in her sleep, and buckles her seat belt before wiggling back out. They both make sure to be quiet as they get in the car and Bones watches her carefully as they drive to Chez Jocelyn.   
  
  
The next day is their last in Georgia and Bones is melancholic, though he hides it well from Joanna. They spend all morning in the park again. It's essentially a giant greenspace, with hills and bike paths, playgrounds, streams, and a pond by the main entrance.   
  
Joanna chases honking water fowl into the pond and Jim and Bones sit under a tree, lounging on a bench. Jim sleepily nuzzles Bones's shoulder, half stunned by the heat and humidity. “Ever think about moving back here?”   
  
Bones nods. “Of course.”   
  
“I'd follow you, if you'd be willing to wait until I graduate.”   
  
Bones pauses for a long moment, surprised by Jim's words. “That means a lot to me,” he says and kisses the top of Jim's head, “but I left for a reason. I love Joanna and I sorely miss her, but other than her, there's nothing for me here. Only job I could get these days is at Jolene's, and that's only because John doesn't give a shit about what anyone says and the clientele are too loyal to abandon the place they've been going to for fifty years.”   
  
Jim nods distractedly and turns to kiss the side of Bones's neck. “M’kay,” he murmurs, waking up some. “But, say the word, and I'll pack up.”   
  
Bones smiles. “Thank you, but I don't think I will. I'm serious about not moving back, as much as I want to. San Francisco is home now, even though Jo can't be with me. I have you, and work, and our friends. It's not perfect, but it's enough. Besides in a few years,” he adds, “Joanna will have more say in where she lives. I bet she'll want to move to glamorous San Francisco instead of living in Podunk, Georgia.”   
  
“Why'd you move back here yourself? After college, I mean?” Jim asks, using the opportunity to ask a question he's been wondering about for a while.   
  
Bones shifts and stretches, resting his arms on the back of the bench behind them. “Jocelyn is from a few towns over and I'm from here, of course, and she's never been much for the city life anyway. She tolerated it through up through med school but couldn't wait to hightail it back.” Bones looks sad. “My dad was starting to get sick right around then, too, and I could hardly leave him alone. I'm his only child and my mother was long gone. He needed me, so we settled here.” Bones watches Joanna chase a stray goose across the grass for a long moment instead of looking at Jim.   
  
Jim wraps his arms around Bones and slides close. “I'm sorry,” he sighs. “Didn't mean to bring that up.”   
  
“It's ok. It's been long enough. I wish I had been able to convince him to wait, but he didn't want to and I couldn't bring myself to force him to stay alive when he didn't want to anymore.”   
  
Jim nods and changes the topic. “Think we can get Joanna to San Francisco this summer?”   
  
Bones brightens a little. “That'd be nice.” 

  
  
They eat a light lunch next to a fast flowing stream, under oaks and ash trees and they spend some time wading in a shallow, sluggish inlet. Joanna chases waterbugs and minnows while Bones and Jim kick water at each other. They eventually put on their shoes back on and the three of them end up doing a bit of hiking before they head back to where the car is parked, planning to retreat to some place cooler.   
  
The shuttle is slated to leave at five, so they have an early dinner, carefully starting their goodbyes then in hopes of staving off Joanna's tears. Bones talks about maybe bringing her to San Francisco during the summer over dessert and if they can't, what they'll do instead here in Georgia. Joanna seems to be interested in the prospect of making the trip to see where her daddy lives now. Even so, she also knows they're leaving soon and tears up a little periodically. Bones gives her fierce hugs and tells her he loves her (“Big as Dallas, Jo,” he murmurs into her hair). Jim promises to make sure she gets pictures of their trip back, like always. It makes her feel like she's still part of everything, he thinks, and calms both her and her father down.   
  
Jocelyn and possibly-Lawrence will meet them at the shuttle pad at four thirty, and Joanna spends every possible moment in her father's arms, eight years old or no, until they have to let go of each other when her mother arrives. She makes it clear she's going with her mother only under protest and most emphatically doesn't want her daddy to leave again. They make a joint effort to soothe her, Bones helping her into Jocelyn's car and Jocelyn letting him, cooing over his shoulder at their daughter. He glares at possibly-Lawrence when he gets too close, making it clear that he's not at all welcome right now. The man has the sense to back off.   
  
Possibly-Lawrence meanders toward Jim instead, who keeps his face expressionless as the man approaches.   
  
“How'd you and McCoy meet?” he inquires, peering at Jim beadily.   
  
Jim is reminded of some sort of nameless, nasty, furry creature. “That any of your business?” he asks idly, scuffing his sneaker on the cement. He gives the other man a pointed look. “How'd you and Joanna's mother meet?”   
  
The man sniffs. “Square dancing.”   
  
Jim wants to ask if that was before or after the divorce, but simply nods instead.   
  
“Well?”   
  
“Ask Leonard,” Jim replies curtly. He crosses his arms and angles his body away from possibly-Lawrence, effectively shutting down the conversation.   
  
Bones sees this and raises a curious eyebrow over the roof of the hovercar. Jim shrugs briefly and rolls his eyes in possibly-Lawrence's direction as a reply. He wonders why possibly-Lawrence waited almost a year to ask how they met. Jim supposes it's possible that the idea just occurred to his piggy little brain as he watches the man edge closer to restart the conversation.   
  
Jim pulls out his comm and texts his mother as an evasion tactic (he keeps meaning to text her anyway, and this is a good a time as any to touch base). 

  
**Me:** Moooom. Mom. Mom mom mom  
 **Me:** How are you? :)  
 **Mom:** What are you, five? And I'm fine.  
 **Mom:** Don't take this wrong, but why are you texting me now?  
 **Me:** Can't a son inquire after his mother's health? :(  
 **Mom:** Yeeeah, but you'll be back in town in a couple hours, right?  
 **Me:** Yep, we will. But, ok, you sort of caught me. I do want to know how you are (because I kind of love you). I kept meaning to get in touch, too, but we were busy all the time with Jo. I'm using you as an evasive tactic, though. Possibly-Lawrence is attempting to dig for dirt on Bones. I already shut down one conversation about it, but he's trying again. **  
Mom:** Aaah, I see. I'm willing to help you with that (you said he lived in a smaller town than Riverside?)  
 **Me:** Yep. **  
Mom:** Gotcha. You know, I bet they're all related and want to know why Cousin Len's dating a man these days. ;D **  
Me:** Omg, mom. Really?  
 **Me:** *affects bad accent* This ain't the nineteenth century. They don't keep it in the family like that no more. ****  
Mom: You're just as bad!

Jim forwards her a picture of a two-finger salute when he notices possibly-Lawrence approaching again. He turns his head just enough to acknowledge the other man's presence. “I'm talking to my mom. Fuck off.” Jim ignores possibly-Lawrence's indignant expression and goes back to his comm.

  
**Mom:** Classy.  
 **Me:** You totally brought it up first. And I fucking hate that guy.  
 **Mom:** Possibly-Lawrence  
 **Mom:** I can't believe you call him that, btw.  
 **Me:** That's what he is! He's like twenty five years her senior (gross!) and apparently wealthy as fuck. Drives a really expensive car and their place is pretty much an old plantation house.  
 **Mom:** I hate to break it to you, but calling it gross because the Ex is married an older guy when your boyfriend's like a decade your senior is kind of hypocritical. And Leonard makes way more money than you do, too.  
 **Me:** First, it's only six years' difference. Secondly, Bones could be broke as fuck and living under a bridge and I'd still be with him.  
 **Mom** **:** It's sickening how cute you are together. You're gonna give me cavities.  
 **Me:** :p We'll take you to the dentist.

There's a hand on his shoulder, and Jim turns around with a frosty, venomous _can I_ help _you?_ expression on his face. He relaxes and smiles when it's Bones.   
  
Bones raises an eyebrow. “What the hell?”   
  
“Possibly-Lawrence kept pestering me,” Jim explains.   
  
His boyfriend nods, scoops up his bag and peers over Jim's shoulder at his comm. “Texting your mom?”   
  
“Checking on her and using it as an evasive maneuver.”   
  
Bones nods. “Does she know that?”   
  
“Mhm,” Jim nods back, picking up his own bag and following his boyfriend. He distractedly texts his mother as they board. 

  
**Me:** That's fine. I'm getting tired anyway. Going to visit when you get home?  
 **Me:** Probably not. We're getting home after visiting hours are up and there's only so far Bones can bend the rules.  
 **Mom:** All right. I'll let you go now. Love you.  
 **Me:** Love you too.

Sitting down in the shuttle and tucking away his comm, Jim marvels at their relationship now. They've managed to move past Frank and everything else pretty well and they can actually _banter._ He never thought he'd be able to do that with her. Jim is a little ashamed that it took so much for it to happen, though. He's gotten more self-aware in the last few months and he knows he blamed her too much. He turns his attention to Bones, who is upset at having to leave Joanna behind.   
  
Jim leans in and kisses the corner of his mouth.“Only a month and a half before you see her again.” He pulls out the camera. “Can you muster a smile?” Bones shakes his head and Jim takes his hand, squeezing it affectionately. “Ok. Wanna send her pictures from the visit?”   
  
He nods and hands Jim his comm. It's a moment's work to sync them and they spend quite a while picking out and sending Joanna pictures of their breakfasts, adventures in the park, and her recital, among other things. Joanna messages back and forth with Bones after about half an hour and he perks up some, smiling at her misspelled responses. Jim chimes in sometimes and then they make it a three-way conversation. He also makes sure to take more pictures as they fly, sending her photos of the sprawling, glowing amoebic cities below them and the stars above (he loves that the camera's shutter speed can go so high because it lets him get clear shots of the curve of the earth and the lights beyond).   
  
There's a brief layover in Denver and Jim plays with the camera, taking pictures of the bustling shuttle station with the shutter speed so low that it looks like there's no one walking past and then the cityscape visible through the wide windows. Bones asks if Jim will send Joanna the pictures and explain them to her. She expressed a desire to learn how to be a photographer today, and Jim is more than good enough to give her a basic understanding of the art.   
  
Of course, Jim is absolutely willing and enthusiastically shares what he thinks she can understand at her age, messaging back and forth with her.   
  
“You could teach, you know, after you graduate,” Bones says, sleepily resting his head against Jim's shoulder. “You seem like you're really enjoying teaching Jo right now.” He peers at the screen of Jim's comm. “And it seems she's getting it.”   
  
“Mmm, well, she's your kid and totally fucking brilliant, so it's to be expected that she picks it up so well,” Jim replies with a smile. “And yeah, that's probably what I'll end up doing, once I get my Ph.D.”   
  
Bones nods absently. “My girl's gonna have the best physics tutor ever,” he murmurs with a smile and a faraway look in his eyes.   
  
That warms Jim's heart and he rests his head against Bones with a pleased smile.


	4. Chapter 4

They arrive back in San Francisco and head to Bones's apartment, dumping all their laundry in the washer and Jim playfully suggests they share a shower to save time. Bones is too damn tired to entertain what will inevitably happen if they get naked and wet in the same small space and tells firmly tells Jim no.  
  
"Maybe another day?" he suggests.  
  
"Do you even have to ask?" Bones replies with a sleepy yawn before heading toward the bathroom, leaving a grinning Jim behind.  
  
  
Sunshine floods the bedroom, bouncing off the white covers and diffusing the light in a way that Jim finds immensely pleasing as he lounges next to a still-slumbering Bones, who is almost hanging off the edge of the bed with his face tucked into a pillow. Jim shifts, stretches and makes to get up; Bones makes a noise of discontent. He decides that the morning run can be put off for another day, returning to his previous, sprawled out position until his boyfriend wakes up.  
  
He doesn't regret this in the least when Bones rolls over later and curls up against him as he wakes up, nuzzling Jim's shoulder and making the little snuffling sounds he does when drifting into consciousness when he was super tired the night before. Jim finds the noises both delightful and perfect teasing material.  
  
"Ah, there's my sleeping piggy," he says with a grin.  
  
Bones looks up, groggy and half offended. "Jackass. Don't make me regret sleeping with you."  
  
"You could never regret sleeping with me," Jim says with perfect certainty. "And those noises you make when waking up after a long day are adorable and reminiscent of a piglet, which are very cute animals."  
  
Bones bites him for that. "You're so lucky I'm too comfortable to kick you out," he grumbles and settles closer to Jim, throwing an arm over his stomach and moving to accommodate Jim slipping an arm under him, resting his head on a conveniently located shoulder.  
  
Jim kisses the side of his head. "Love you."  
  
"Love you, too, jackass."  
  
Pausing to peer at Bones closely. "If you make me French toast, I'll 'siryessir' you all day."  
  
"That, while a tempting offer, requires much more work than I'm willing to do today," he replies. "We have today to lounge and do some minor chores, and then tomorrow and Monday, we both have way too much to do. I fully intend to doze, have sex, and do some laundry." A pause. "And I fucking hate your ability to go directly from asleep to awake. It's obnoxious."  
  
"I hate how you're so much more articulate than me before you're even properly awake," Jim counters.  
  
A gentle nip on his neck. "Shut up, Jim."  
  
  
  
Later, much later, after sticky morning sex and a subsequent joint shower, Bones looks up over his breakfast and asks, "So are you gonna move in or what?"  
  
Jim idly scoops up his cereal before letting it drop back into his bowl, avoiding Bones's eyes. "So you were serious – about the bank account and all that?"  
  
"Would have I said anything if I weren't?"  
  
A shrug.  
  
"You know me better than that," Bones says irritably. He's fully aware of why Jim's being like this (he's still got a hell of a lot of baggage, heaven knows) but it doesn't stop him from being mildly annoyed. "I'm serious about us and I know you are, too. Otherwise you wouldn't have offered to move cross country for me."  
  
Jim shrugs again, looking up at his boyfriend's face, almost shyly. "I'll move in," he says with a small smile. "Let me check with Spock and Nyota before I make it official with everyone else, but sure."  
  
Bones reaches across the small table and cups Jim's jaw as he says, "Good." He smiles and Jim can't help but smile even more back.  
  
  
  
Laundry is done and put away before they visit Winona, giving her pictures of their trip.  
  
"We're hoping she can come out here over the summer," Bones tells her.  
  
Winona smiles. "Hopefully I'll be out of the hospital by then," she says, sitting up all the way. "She sounds adorable and I'd like to meet her in some place other than here, if I can."  
  
"She may as well be a grandchild now, so it might be better, yes," Jim ventures and Bones nods.  
  
Winona pauses and examines the two of them. "I see," she says. "Settled in for the long haul, are we?"  
  
They nod and Jim adds, "I'm moving into his place soon, too."  
  
She beams at the both of them, never having expected her wild child to settle down properly, much less with someone who already had a kid. He seemed to genuinely love Joanna, too, which made her happy. Winona knew Frank had never loved her boys (it's one of her many regrets about marrying him) and it's good to see Jim be the opposite.  
  
"Guess I better find a place to live after I get out of here, huh?"

* * *

Jim's free time is severely curtailed in the weeks leading up to graduation by his senior project and he's immensely grateful for Spock's help and Bones and his mother's patience, and he tries to show them that (which consists of preparing weird Vulcan comfort food, lots of sex and affection, and extra care and solicitousness, respectively). He fully, properly moves into Bones's place and pretends to care that his former roommates need replacements for him and Spock, who cares even less but makes more of an effort than Jim at helping them.  
  
He gets a comm from Sam, too, who tells him that he and Aurelan will be making a trip to Earth from Vulcan in two weeks' time. Jim informs his mother and consults his boyfriend before responding.  
  
"I'm not wild about them staying with us, Jim," Bones says. "Two bedroom apartment or not, I don't like the idea of them in our home."  
  
Jim, used to such candor from him, just shrugs. "I'm not, either. Never talked to his wife, though, and she might be a lot nicer than he is."  
  
"Could be," Bones admits. "But if she really were, she ought to have forced him to reply."  
  
Jim shrugs again. "He's the epitome of Kirk pig stubbornness, so she might have tried and he might have refused anyway. Let's make reservations for them at a hotel before we decide. If Aurelan is cool, maybe they can stay, even though Sam's an asshole. If she's not, then they can stay at the hotel. Sound good?"  
  
Bones nods.

* * *

Between the time Sam gets in touch and they arrive, Jim is accepted to Berkeley's masters program, Winona gets a tentative release date for June, and Bones successfully negotiates Joanna's summer visitation to San Francisco, all of which lightens everyone's mood. Plus, Jim's senior project is due a week after Sam and Aurelan's arrival, and he'll be grateful to hand it in. He's feeling really good about it (Spock likes it, as do his favorite two professors, Doctors Pike and Woodrow), so he's not worried too much.  
  
Jim meets his brother and sister-in-law at the shuttle platform in mid-afternoon, alone, and it's tense as hell.  
  
"How are you?" Sam asks awkwardly, shaking Jim's hand like he doesn't really know what to do with himself as they get off the shuttle.  
  
"Pretty good," he replies, and then is introduced to Aurelan, who seems ten times cooler than Sam.  
  
"How long are you staying?" Jim asks as he leads them to the car and opens the trunk.  
  
"Three weeks is the longest we could get away," Aurelan replies.  
  
Jim nods as she and his brother pile their stuff in the trunk and then they all get in the car, Aurelan rides shotgun and Sam sits behind her. "We'll be stopping at my place first before we go see Mom, and my boyfriend will meet us there after he gets off shift."  
  
He sees Sam and Aurelan exchange glances in the rear view mirror. "Is there a problem?" he asks a little frostily.  
  
"No," Sam says quickly. "I just didn't know you were with someone, that's all."  
  
Jim raises an eyebrow in what they'll recognize as a Bonesism and puts the car into gear.  
  
"What's he do for a living?" Aurelan asks, trying to make conversation as she glares at her husband in the review mirror, who sits in awkward silence.  
  
"He's a doctor and a researcher at UCSF's med school, specializing in neurology," Jim says, carefully monitoring the asshole driver in the right lane, just ahead of them, who may or may not cut Jim off. Asshole driver changes lanes all right, but goes into the outside lane instead and Jim breathes a sigh of relief.  
  
"How long have you been together?" Sam pipes up, succumbing to his wife's frosty _talk, you_ _asshole_ look.  
  
"Almost two years." He figures that he ought to meet them half way, since Aurelan is trying to make conversation and she's awesome for it."We met in Riverside by chance, not knowing we were heading the same way in the morning, and we hit it off. Sort of got together not long after that," Jim supplies. It's mostly the truth, but he'll have to run it past Bones to make sure the story is consistent. "He's kind of cranky, but don't be fooled. He's a really good guy under the spiny outer shell."  
  
They nod and Aurelan makes an effort to learn about her brother in law, asking about his hobbies, his major in school, and Bones and his friends. She also asks about Winona, something Sam doesn't. Jim contemplates letting Aurelan stay at his place and making Sam sleep in the hotel.  
  
They pull up outside the apartment and Sam and Aurelan take their stuff upstairs.  
  
"Nice place you have here," Sam says.  
  
Jim shrugs, wishing he could make his brother feel as awkward and out of place as possible. He doesn't, because he knows his mother wants to see her oldest and he really does like Aurelan. "UCSF provides the housing. We're thinking about moving out, though, before Bones's daughter comes to stay with us in July. We have yet to decide where to go, though. He's suggested Berkeley, but we'll see." Jim turns to them and claps his hands. "Now, do you want to grab a late lunch and then see Mom, or go to the hospital immediately?"  
  
Sam looks at his wife, who shrugs, and he says, "Straight to the hospital, please."  
  
  
And so they go. He winds their way through the maze of corridors, leading them up to Winona's room. She shares with a cranky older woman and he knocks lightly before opening the door, ushering in his brother and Aurelan. Introductions are made and Aurelan creeps back to the hall, Jim on her heels as they leave Sam to face his mother alone (Jim knows it's what they need before Aurelan is properly introduced to the situation). They lurk in the hall, sitting in uncomfortable hospital chairs stationed along the corridor.  
  
Bones appears and catches sight of Jim with a strange, nervous looking woman. His expression immediately goes neutral before Jim gives him a lopsided smile and gets up to greet him properly. They exchange a very quick, discreet kiss and Jim leans in to murmur, "Aurelan is cool. I vote she stays with us."  
  
"What about your brother?"  
  
Jim isn't feeling particularly charitable toward Sam. "Hotel."  
  
Bones nods and Jim leads him up the hall to his sister in law.  
  
"Bones, this Aurelan, Sam's very awesome wife." They exchange a smile before Jim goes on. "Aurelan, this is my very awesome boyfriend, Doctor Leonard McCoy." He can practically feel the affectionate smile hidden under Bones's gentlemanly "how do you do?" as they shake hands.  
  
Sam chooses that moment to open the door and call the three of them in. Jim introduces Bones to his brother, who looks uncomfortable. Bones's response is graceful, perfect in its civility and polite awareness of Sam's massive amount of suck, and Jim knows it makes Sam feel even more awkward. He doesn't feel at all bad.  
  
Winona greets Bones with a broad smile and the four of them arrange themselves around her bed. Aurelan and her mother-in-law hit it off, and Jim decides it might be a good idea to let Sam and their mother work things out between them alone while shuttling Aurelan around as much as he can (his project is due next week, so it won't be as much as he would like).  
  
Dinner is had and then visiting hours are over. Aurelan rides with Bones back to the apartment while Sam goes with Jim. Sam looks distinctly unhappy at being separated from his wife, a source of some comfort (even though she's displeased with her husband right now), because it leaves him with his brother. Jim is probably one of the last people, aside from their mother, he wants to talk to. Not that Jim really wants to talk to Sam either, because the mountain of psychological baggage between the two of them is daunting and looming over everything they do.  
  
Driving in San Francisco is always an all-too exciting adventure and takes longer than it really should, and for the first fifteen or twenty minutes they sit in silence, Jim letting Sam stew. He glances at his brother.  
  
"So," he says.  
  
"I..." Sam pauses, trying to put his words in order. "I'm really sorry for, for everything."  
  
Jim decides to wait him out.  
  
"For not getting in touch after you called me. For abandoning you with Frank. For - leaving you, because I know that's why you're acting like this."  
  
Jim nods. "I'm not inclined to accept any apology right now. It hurt, and I still don't understand why you left me alone."  
  
His brother exhales. "I was – am – selfish. Time and my wife have done some to temper that, but it was so set in stone after all these years with you and with Mom. It was easier not to care and to ignore you than to try to make amends."  
  
With a grunt of acknowledgment, Jim flicks on the turn signal. "I hope you understand that right now, I'm tolerating you because of Mom. It's easier for me to hold a grudge than to accept an apology." He gives Sam another glance after he completes the turn. "I recall hearing somewhere – I think Alexander Pope said it, though I think JFK said something about it, too – that to truly forgive is divine, because you erase all traces and emotion attached to the offense, and you never let it color you judgment. You forget that it ever happened.  
  
"I am not divine. I may let go of the grudge, but what you did lingers. I was emotionally abandoned by Mom – though we both were, really – then Frank happened, and then you left, without warning, and without contact later." He stares at the road determinedly. "Can you imagine what it's like to wake up one morning and find your brother gone? No note, no call, no warning beforehand? I relied on you, Sam, for comfort and in turn I unconditionally accepted you; no matter what Frank said, I loved you and you were pretty much everything so far as I was concerned because you _were_ everything I had. It's been hard to move past that."  
  
Sam exhales again. "I was fifteen, Jim. I can't excuse abandoning you, but I had reasons I felt justified it at the time. Frank was unbearable, Mom wasn't really there, and –"  
  
"I wasn't enough," Jim interrupts coolly.  
  
An uncomfortable silence reigns, Jim feeling icily furious and vulnerable all over again and Sam squirming in his seat, wishing he was anywhere but here.  
  
"I was on Tarsus, when it happened. Did you know that?" Jim asks him casually. He can feel the sudden stillness and ignores it in favor of watching the driver in front of him carefully, fully aware he's being cruel. He can't quite bring himself to care. "That's not your fault, really. But I always felt that if you had been there – perhaps to take me in or give me a place to hide, that it wouldn't have happened. Frank mightn't have gotten the idea, maybe." Jim shrugs.  
"When we go inside, I'm dragging my boyfriend off for a while," he adds. "You'll probably want to hide with Aurelan, who, by the way, is completely awesome, so I don't imagine you'll protest too much. You can borrow Bones's office for a while, possibly."  
  
Sam nods.  
  
  
Jim does exactly what he said he would, and a bewildered Bones agrees to allow Sam and Aurelan use the office as Jim pulls him toward their room. They end up in bed on top of the covers, with Jim curled against Bones and rigid with anger. Bones wraps his arms around him and they lie together in silence for a while before Bones hesitantly asks what happened.  
"I chose to tell Sam a few things. Brought up a lot of stuff I wish had stayed buried and I need to hide for a while," Jim says.  
  
"Ah," Bones replies. What else can he say?  
  
Jim tucks his face against Bones's shoulder and sighs, relaxing against him.  
  
"Are you...do you want to tell me about it?" Bones ventures.  
  
"No," Jim replies. "No, I really fucking don't." He shakes his head. "I should tell someone besides Sam, I know. Mom couldn't handle it, Sam hopefully hates himself right now, and..." He stops and sighs, deciding the abbreviated version is something he can tell Bones. "He abandoned me. I hate him for it. I'm holding a grudge and I will never quite forgive him for it because it hurt so bad."  
  
Bones shifts so he's almost wrapped around Jim and rests their foreheads together. "I'm sorry."  
  
Jim splays his hand against Bones's chest and fists the material loosely, staring at the blue cloth peeking out between his fingers and fiddles with the button under his thumb. "It's not your fault. You've done a lot to help me, just by being there like this." He looks up and kisses Bones, his hand shifting to cup Bones's jaw lightly.   
  
Bones hums briefly in reply and wraps his arm around his waist, tucking his hand underneath Jim's body. He leans in and initiates another kiss. "Couldn't dream of anything else."  
  
Sometime later, Jim returns to the main living area and even later than that, Sam and Aurelan appear. She looks angry and confused and more than a little bit stressed out.  
  
"Would you like to stay here or go to a hotel?" Bones asks politely. He's nominally a third party here and he refuses to let familial awkwardness get in the way of his genteel Southern upbringing. "We were unsure of your preferences and made reservations accordingly."  
  
"Hotel," Aurelan says firmly.  
  
  
  
The two couples interact very little over Sam and Aurelan's first week here, which Jim sort of regrets because he likes Aurelan but can't complain about it. His senior project is consuming his life even more than it was before and he absolutely can't let it slide in favor of dealing with relatives. Within an hour of turning in his finished paper, he comms Sam and Aurelan, though.  
  
"Hello?" asks Aurelan coolly.  
  
Jim sighs internally. "I wanted to know if perhaps you two would like to do dinner with Bones and me."  
  
"I don't think so," she replies.  
  
He doesn't prevent himself from sighing this time. "I don't know what Sam told you, but I think that I was mostly justified in what I said. Though perhaps telling him about Tarsus might have been a little much."  
  
There's a long pause on the other end of the line. "...Sam didn't tell me what you two talked about. I just knew what you said really hurt him."  
  
Jim is not surprised, because Sam's never been a talker. "Ah. Well, let's say I vented at him for...a lot of things, I suppose – you should ask him for more details, if you want them – and I wasn't very nice about it."  
  
"...I'll talk to Sam about it. He's visiting your mom right now."  
  
"Right," Jim replies. "You know how to get a hold of me, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"Ok. Talk to you later," Jim says, hanging up after she replies. _I hope, anyway_. He really does like her.  
  
  
Two hours go by before he gets a call.  
  
"I'm sorry I left you to deal with her by yourself," Sam blurts.  
  
Jim runs his hand through his hair, confused – he had expected a reply to his dinner invitation. "Who, Mom? It's okay. I'm on-planet and you live on Vulcan."  
  
Sam sighs. "I should have called back. I should have and I didn't and I'm sorry." When Jim remains silent, he adds, "She's just been so forgiving and I don't know how to deal with it and I don't know how to make everything up to you." Sam says this so quickly it takes Jim a minute to puzzle out what exactly he said.  
  
Jim pauses, knowing his brother said more than he meant to, which means it must be really bothering him. There's anguish in Sam's voice. "Mothers are closer to the divine," he says, "but maybe I should try for godhood."  
  
He smiles when Sam chokes out a laugh. Jim isn't quite sure why he's doing this, but his gut tells him it's the right thing to do. And he listens to his gut – it gave him Bones, after all.  
  
  
They have dinner. Bones is unable to attend, as he was called into surgery around one (Christine Chapel, Jim's favorite nurse, called him to let him know. "He'll hopefully be home to you by seven or so," she said and he can hear the fondness in her voice. "Thanks Christine," he replied, before adding, "And go after Sulu already!" She laughed as she hung up on him). Jim takes them to a quiet Ethiopian restaurant in Oakland and they settle in.  
  
It's much less tense tonight than it had been earlier in the week. Aurelan is eying the two of them curiously and Sam's awkward but less so than before. Jim decides that he can let his anger go, there and then. Sam will pay his penance in knowing the details of what his abandonment did to his baby brother and that his mother has completely forgiven him when he doesn't deserve it.  And that's enough.  
  
Jim acts as if everything between them has always been fine and eventually the couple across from him catch on. Aurelan looks a little bewildered but the Kirk brothers are nothing if not professionals at ignoring things. Conversation flows relatively easily and Jim discovers that their science team is wrapping up a geological survey on Vulcan before moving to Risa to start another assignment in the next few weeks.  
  
"We'll be meeting up with everyone on the new site," Sam tells Jim, "to look at some recent seismic activity off Galartha."  
Jim nods and Aurelan adds, "Maybe you and your doctor can come visit. It's going to be a long assignment and I bet you two could use some time off."  
  
Giving her a smile, he says, "That would be awesome, but I dunno how successful I would be at convincing Bones to get on a ship. He feels about space the same way Sam feels – felt?" he looks at his brother curiously, "about bats." Sam scowls at him and Jim takes it in stride, grinning at his brother. "If that doesn't work for Bones – who I share a bed with, remember – I'm afraid it won't work for you."  
  
"Why does he tolerate you?" Sam asks with amusement and exasperation. Jim grins wickedly and Sam cuts his brother off pre-emptively, raising a hand to stop him. "On second thought, I don't want to know."  
  
Jim laughs. "So, still terrified of bats?"  
  
"Shut the fuck up," Sam replies evenly. "Or I'll tell McCoy about the thing with the monkeys."  
  
"Feel free," Jim challenges. "Totally not scared of monkeys anymore. Last time we were in Georgia, his daughter and I spent thirty minutes at the primate exhibit, making weird faces with the orangutan."  
  
"Orangutans are not monkeys," Sam points out, a smirking big-brother grin on his face.  
  
Jim rolls his eyes. "I know. But the point still stands." He leans forward and raises an eyebrow at Sam. "So feel free to tell Bones. I have just as much dirt on him as he has on me, so I fear no mockery."  
  
Sam laughs and Aurelan asks, "Why do you call him that?"  
  
"What, 'Bones'? His given name is stuffy and boring, so I did him the favor of renaming him after he used the word in our first real conversation."  
  
"'First real conversation'? Dare I ask what happened before?" Sam raises an eyebrow.  
  
Jim quirks one in return and decides he feels like over sharing. "Prior, we were...distracted, you could say. I don't think we exchanged more than twenty words between us the entire night. Of course, I'm excluding a few words, which were repeated quite a lot over the course of the evening." Jim smirks. "Like my name and 'harder'."  
  
Sam looks a little grossed out and Aurelan laughs. "I'll have to remember not to ask anything like that," she says.  
  
"Nah," Jim corrects. "I wouldn't do it to you. It's my job as a little brother to be obnoxious when he gives me an opening like that, though."  
  
Aurelan chuckles.  
  
  
A little later, Sam excuses himself for a moment and his wife gives Jim an appraising look. "What happened between you two? I'm not complaining, but you went from tense and cold to acting like it's all good and always has been."  
  
Jim shrugs. "I decided that I could let go of it all. We're not kids, we have control of our own lives, and I'm kind of done with being pissed off about ancient history. It's emotional energy I'm not willing to expend anymore."  
  
She nods thoughtfully.

* * *

The last week of Sam and Aurelan's visit is Jim's graduation. Unfortunately, Winona can't attend, but Sam and Jim get their hands on a holocamera that they sync with her PADD online so she can watch in real time. Joanna also wants to see the ceremony, so she'll be looped in, too.  
  
Jim feels awesome right now. Physics is a demanding major and he crammed all his upper division classes into two years (Pike thought he was nuts do to it, but had been totally willing to help). After the ceremony, they'll go to dinner and Bones has secured the night off (short of a natural disaster, he's not going to be called in), so they're going to have a celebration all to themselves tonight, too. Bones has _plans_ , he says, and Jim is all for finding out what they are. In great detail.

* * *

It's cool and a little breezy, and Jim is vibrating with energy as he gets ready to go. Bones would be annoyed ordinarily, but tonight Jim's almost contagious and he's smiling pretty much every time he looks at Jim. He's worked hard for this and Bones is well aware of the general opinion in Riverside that he would never amount to much. He knows Jim's happiness is amplified by the fact that he proved them wrong.  
  
When Jim comes out on stage, one of the very first to do so, right before Nyota (who had tied with him in terms of GPA so the department put them in alphabetical order), he is smiling so hard Bones is willing to bet that his face hurts, and his eyes light up when he sees them (Aurelan, Sam and the camera, himself, and Spock). Bones breaks into an all-out grin and he waves.  
Jo texts him.

 **Jo:** is that him, daddy? The thrid one on the rite?  
 **Me:** Yep.  
 **Jo:** so they really make em wear those silly gowns? they look like the singers at grammas church  
 **Me:** That they do. It's traditional though  
 **Jo:** its silly!  
 **Me:** I agree. But that's how it is.  
 **Jo:** im not going to wear a gown like that when i graduaet. gonna wear a pretty dress  
 **Me:** Ok. We'll bring you one from San Fransisco, if you want.  
 **Jo:** yay!

Bones smiles and they text back and forth through the rest of the ceremony, since he has stopped paying attention to it after Jim's been called and handed his diploma (though he looks up to meet Jim's eye and flash him a grin and a wave frequently enough). He also texts with Winona, who is ecstatic for him.  
  
Eventually, they move the tassel and they've officially graduated. The audience is released from their seats and they move to greet their newly graduated friends and family.  
  
Bones moves ahead of the others to sidle up to Jim and gives him a quick kiss. "Congratulations," he murmurs in Jim's ear as Jim wraps him up in a tight hug.  
  
"Thanks." Jim's smile is gentle, affectionate, and soft, and one that only Bones ever sees. He can't stop himself from kissing Jim again before they step apart so he can accept the congratulations from the others.


End file.
